I just don't know how to put it all together. I keep finding these really important things and I don't know where to put them. I want to write a web site as big as the internet but I can't. I want to organise it so that it begins to make sense but I can't. I used to be organised but fate or fortune has shattered and decimated my life and now I live in a mess that I can't believe. Some time ago a really nice person sent me the following link. I kept it thinking I'd do something with it when I got organised. I'm not organised so here it is in the middle of nowhere. But then maybe that is where we are. The Middle of nowhere. Where is that anyway?The link: You just broke your child. Congratulations.
The link is to Single Dad Laughing. Single Dad Laughing is Dan's blog. Dan is Noah's dad. His sentiments are very aligned with mine. He just seems to have achieved more and I applaud him. But what is so important for me is that I wonder, like Dan, why more people don't seem to get it. I feel small and broken but look out world when I get big again!
Posts
Went for a read. Touched me very much - don't tell anyone...I have my reputation to protect...
ReplyDeleteLeft a comment as follows -
As an abused child - by my adoptive mother as it happens - I can easily identify with the child in this post. The more I was physically abused the more I went back for love and a hug and the more she seemed to think I was going back for more abuse.
I see it every day. Children should be seen and not heard in the eyes of stressed out parents who have lost (if they ever had it) the ability to realise what their children should mean to them.
We can do nothing about it sadly. Some members of humanity are lost.
On a personal note...I 'broke the chain' and have a daughter who I adore and, as I broke the chain, adores me right back.
If you are, or were, a child starved of love or abused in any way the important thing is not to spend your life feeling sorry for yourself, nor to do the unforgiveable and re-visit YOUR suffering on YOUR children - then you have sunk to the depths of depravity.
You remember what it was like and you make sure your children have the childhood you deserved.
Then you mend yourself.
I wish I had the answer but that worked for me.
Thanks for the link Drummer...oh...and by the way, I live in organised chaos...it's more fun that way!!!!
Thanks for that Mr Punk. I was healing when I made the unbelievable mistake of retreating to my father's house because I was broke and it was rent free. I have discovered that control freaks will draw you in and make you dependent especially when they brought you up and conditioned you in the first place. What dismays me is that knowing what is happening doesn't afford me the perception to change it. I am sinking. Fortunately I, like you, was lucky enough to know what was wrong rather than conform and start thinking (or feeling) like them. My daughter told me soon after we got here that I was becoming stressy. Well done to her because I caught it and stopped but that was the power of the control freak.
ReplyDeleteThat's why as a wishy washy liberal ;) I like mayhem, death and destruction. I just think of my father, and all evil suddenly seems justified.
(between you and me I really understand the "What contradiction?")
You aren't sinking mate....some of what you just said shows that.
ReplyDeleteJust act like a Swan - as I do.
Serene on the surface and paddling like a maniac below.....
You do stay afloat you know.
If you really want to.
Nite old bean and have a nice dream eh?
Nice dreams work wonders when you're eating your Rice Krispies in the morning...;-)
Be careful out there...
The great gift a parent can give to a child is self respect and consideration for others. One must give respect to get it.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter has a good attitude. I sometimes thought it was a bit hard. But, as always, I allow her to be herself with her own views. Then I learn a lot. She says that people have to earn respect. I was brought up different and I now suspect she is right. I couldn't agree with your last point more Demeur. Children learn by example.
ReplyDeleteAnd we...the parents...set the example.
ReplyDeleteI suspect you have much to be proud of in your daughter old bean...as do I in mine.
Breaking the chain for those of us who didn't enjoy our childhood is a MASSIVE achievement ...failing to do so is unforgiveable.
We are forgiven.
Well done old bean. A man after my own heart.
...or possibly a man after my own vodka bottle...;-)
Either way....WE DID IT.