Spain is just another one.

When I was at school I did not understand how Christian moralist teachers and the rest of them could tell children that pushing people around was immoral and to enforce compliance they would use corporal punishment.  That along with other contradictory values, lying and threats (which is terrorism).  It really did confuse me and I think I am still confused.  Weird since I also think I can see what is going on.  But this seems to be a far deeper problem.  Let me see if I can put this briefly.  I know I am in a trap but in spite of that I remain in it.  So what do I have to do to unglue myself?

Having said that I am left looking at the world at large and I see the utter charade of the monitory system, the blatant farce of the democratic system, the overt contradictions over values like freedom of the press, the right to peacefully protest etc, and the current  unsustainable course we are on.

Then there are the protests in Spain.  I can't name all the other protests in America, Britain, France, Greece, Syria, Bahrain, Yemen but it is all part of the same thing in my view.  I was watching a report on Al Jazeera about the protests in Spain and they provided a few sound bites from people in the protest.  I can't recall the quotes verbatim but two which were interestingly both from women were effectively: "This is happening all over the world.  It is a global revolution." and "I am not political this is a conscience issue.  It is about how we want to live and where we want to get to."

I think the current model of leaders ruling by effective trickery and forceful control has to be over.  I've said it before but failing that what else is there?  There is no future this way.  So it ends.  The hope is that most of humanity can transform to a better more empathetic, supportive model of operation.

And do I care.  Not so much now.  I am in pain, depressed, and someone has bashed my car.  I have no money to repair it and when it finally gives up that is it.  I walk.  Since my legs are failing me I don't see how I get to the "local" Tesco to carry the food back.  Hopefully the process of starvation will put me in a trance like state of numbness so that I can die without too much distress.  But I can't do that because my daughter needs me for a few years yet.  So I remain so distressed I cannot sleep which is killing me.  I told you I was in a trap.  No amount of forcing myself to go for walks, cut down on the smoking, finding things to do, seems to slow down the relentless decline.  And I have "armchair" studied psychology, counselling, sociology etc and I really do conclude that it is the result of my sociopathic father and his subservient hysterical vindictive wife.

Why am I taking this all the way from world affairs to a personal diatribe of misery?  I guess because I see the world's population in the same trap.  One might argue this is my subjective interpretation which could reasonably be called bias.  I sit and wonder if it is bias or if it is resonant insight.  I know it is not simply bias because I have always seen this dilemma.  I know that when I have been out of this personal tar pit (that I slipped back into three years ago) things were looking better for me but I could still see the inherent catastrophe in the world.  So I think I am just more bitter and angry than I might be if I weren't trapped myself.